


Fantasies

by IrenkaFeralKitty



Series: Dream Dust [2]
Category: Yoroiden Samurai Troopers | Ronin Warriors
Genre: Emotionally Repressed, Fantasizing, Frottage, M/M, Making Out, Masturbation, Meditation, Self-Esteem Issues, Sexual Frustration
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-06-30
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:22:13
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,241
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24995317
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IrenkaFeralKitty/pseuds/IrenkaFeralKitty
Summary: Seiji has trouble finding serenity.Set in the "Dream Dust" RPG AU.
Relationships: Anubis | Cale/Date Seiji | Sage Date
Series: Dream Dust [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1809439
Comments: 1
Kudos: 3





	Fantasies

Seiji let the quiet of the apartment wash over him as he settled down to meditate. The Ronins, Masho, Nasutei, and Lady Kayura had all retreated to their respective spaces. Byakuen was also absent, stretched out protectively in front of the threshold of the bedroom with the girls. The only presence nearby was Jun the Ujigami.

“Pardon me,” Seiji said softly to the guardian spirit. “Could you check on the others for me? Many of them have had troubled nights ever since we used the Beacon of Despair.”

The green spirit bobbed happily and began to dart towards the girls’ room. It paused and Seiji smiled reassuringly. 

“I never carried it,” he said. “I will be fine tonight. Please look after the others.”

And just like that, Seiji was alone. 

Resting his hands on his thighs, Seiji passed his mind over his body, taking time to identify all his aches and pains. There weren’t too many today, thankfully. They had avoided direct combat so he was mostly tired from going about armed without having consumed quite enough food to fuel himself. 

Once he felt settled into his body, Seiji turned his attention to his breathing. The flow of air in and out of his body brought about peace and refreshment. He felt his stomach expand as he slowly inhaled, then how it deflated. Air passed in and out of his nostrils and pressure built up in his lungs when he held each breath before flowing out of him with each slow exhale. 

He focused on breathing slowly and steadily, letting his thoughts drift where they wished. Slowly, he felt everything begin to unwind within himself, slowly slotting back into place. 

This time was important to him. It brought him the peace and clarity he craved during the day and helped him process through everything that had transpired. He could puzzle through mysteries and meditate on things that caused him to lose his temper. He recentered himself and remembered those things most important to him - blood family, brothers-in-arms, and others his life had intersected with. This time was _his,_ and he protected it fiercely. 

The stress and worries that defined their every waking moment began to ease away. For several long moments, Seiji was perfectly balanced within himself. 

And then it happened again. 

Seiji’s mind turned away from calm inward reflection to musing on one of his comrades. He’d thought of him before, quite frequently, in fact, but recent events had turned his previous rage and fury to something else. Something calmer, more curious, and… a bit of something else that grew a bit stronger every single day. 

He huffed, instinctively tossing his head to shift some of his hair out of his face. Another night of this, was it? A night where he couldn’t hold onto serenity and instead thought and worried and speculated about the warrior that was his exact opposite.

Seiji worked his hands, flexing and relaxing his fingers as they rested on his legs. He missed his kendogi and hakama. Specific trappings weren’t required for meditation but it would have been nice to have something familiar to wear that wasn’t the undershirt and boxer briefs he’s already worn for too many days in a row. And he missed the comfort of his kendo uniform. 

Anubisu stirred in Seiji’s thoughts again, this time reflecting on the man’s change in wardrobe. Like the other Masho and Lady Kayura, Anubisu had arrived at Nasutei’s home in an elegant kimono that outshined all the ones he’d seen at various formal events throughout his life. And their visitors from the Youjakai had considered them day wear, garments that could be torn and dirtied without worry. For whatever reason, Anubisu had recently changed his attire, adopting several of the items they’d discovered in this apartment serving as their temporary home.

In his kimono, Anubisu had looked like a bandit captain or ronin samurai from a period movie, the one all the girls in school would obsess over and talk about constantly. In Western style attire, he transformed into an American superhero trying (and failing) to disappear undercover.

A shiver had run down Seiji’s spine the first time he’d laid eyes on Anubisu in the (when compared to his earlier hakama) tight fitted pants and tailored looking shirt. 

Rajura had wrinkled his nose at the modern style of dress while Naaza didn’t care. Shuten was still struggling to ground himself after his resurrection and possession while Anubisu… 

The Masho of Darkness assumed the Western wear without care and moved like he’d been born recently, not over four hundred years earlier. Despite being just as unfamiliar with the trappings of modern life as the other Masho, he seemed the most curious about everything and adapted to what limited elements they currently had with little difficulty.

Seiji took another deep breath, deliberately dragging it out as long as he could. 

It didn’t help. His gut was still churning and muscles twitching the longer Anubisu circled through his thoughts. The memory of the Masho’s ass in slacks - _slacks,_ for heaven’s sake - wasn’t helping.

He stayed motionless for a little while longer, trying and failing to dispel the tension building inside him. Sighing, Seiji let himself slump forward, catching himself on his hands. Serenity was determined to avoid him tonight, it seemed. 

Well, there was one method of relieving tension he hadn’t tried yet. 

Seiji was tempted to slip into the bathroom for this but there wasn’t much room and the tile was quite hard. He could stay where he was for now; he was out of direct sight of any of the bedroom doors and low to the ground. Between that and how worn out everyone was, the only being he really needed to worry about was their resident Ujigami.

“Jun,” he called quietly, straightening back up, and was rewarded by the small green spirit appearing before him. “I’m going to do an… exercise to relieve some tension my meditation can’t seem to alleviate. My emotions may become quite strong, but it won’t be any cause for concern. Please, stay with whomever else would best benefit from your presence. This exercise won’t work very well if I have an audience and it will help if I know they are being cared for.”

 _I can do that!_ Jun exclaimed. His green energy pulsed excitedly and the spirit flew a circle around Seiji’s head. _I hope you feel better! I’ll focus_ **_really_ ** _hard on your friends, I promise._

And then he was gone, leaving Seiji all alone. 

Suppressing another sigh, Seiji rose to his feet to locate a relatively clean looking rag. He disliked being out of sorts and needing to indulge himself in such a crude fashion given the circumstances… but it seemed he hadn’t been left with much choice. 

When he returned to his semi-concealed spot in the living room, he paused to remove his boxers, then, after a moment of consideration, his undershirt as well. He didn’t need to add more sweat to it.

Seiji sat back down, deliberately spreading his knees further apart and let himself return his focus to his body. It seemed these small, yet very deliberate preparations were exciting in and of themself because he was already growing harder. He pressed his hands to his thighs, highly conscious of the exposed skin under his palms and bare buttocks sitting on his feet. As thought granted permission to run rampant, Seiji’s memory flipped through flash after flash of Anubisu, most of them recent, but others from before. He couldn’t forget who Anubisu was or what he’d done, but it felt like it was… in context, now. Understandable and therefore something Seiji could grapple with. He could think back to their early battles and remember Anubisu’s ferocity and skill, and focus less on the damage their fights had caused to nature. 

Because he knew now that Anubisu loved nature as much as he did. The ground they’d torn asunder and animals left to lie dead must have weighed heavily on his heart. 

Need surged within him and Seiji gave up testing himself and wrapped a calloused hand around his waiting shaft. That first touch was incredible, sending delicate shivers down his spine from the sheer intensity of finally taking himself in hand.

It was the cat’s fault. That damned cat that had sauntered into the apartment looking no larger than a kitten and claimed Anubisu’s lap like it was her personal throne. Anubisu clearly loved that cat more than anyone or anything else in the entire damned city and that moment of humanization, that moment Anubisu wholly ceased to seem at all inhuman, had spelled Seiji’s doom.

His hand alone wasn’t going to be enough, nor the random stray memories Seiji was currently reviewing. He was going to need more and that realization made Seiji’s cheeks burn with embarrassment. 

The scenario that had been quietly building itself up in the back of his head seemed to sweep into prominence. He didn’t even have a practical experience to draw on for this. No, it would be entirely, wholly his own creation and Seiji knew he’d struggle to look anyone in the eye after he was finally done. 

Releasing the reins he often struggled to keep on his own mind, Seiji let himself… drift.

* * *

Anubisu moved fast behind him, leg swinging around for another attack and Seiji just barely managed to block him. The second attack came moments later and Seiji dodged out of the way, only to be caught by a rapid follow-up. His back slammed into the wall and Anubisu pressed closer to hold him in place. 

“Surrender, Korin,” he hissed.

“Never,” Seiji growled, and managed to get his arm under Aubisu’s and knock it away just long enough to escape. 

Dodging once, twice, three more times, Seiji managed to set a safe distance between them and watched the Masho with wary eyes, watching for the next attack. Anubisu met his glare and held it, before suddenly rushing forward. They exchanged blows again and again. Seiji fought as hard as he could, but no matter what he did, Seiji couldn’t break the momentum Anubisu was building up. They clashed, bodies straining against each other, but in the end the Masho won and Seiji was slammed back into the wall, this time face first.

“I win,” the Masho of Darkness growled. The sound went straight to Seiji’s crotch and he whimpered despite himself. 

“What was that?” Anubisu growled. “A sound of approval? Are you sure you didn’t throw the fight?”

That question alone was enough to make Seiji buck for real against Anubisu, trying to throw him off. It was no use, though. In addition to literal centuries of experience, Anubisu was just a little bit stronger than Seiji was, and in the end, there was no escape for him to find.

Seiji rolled his head against the wall as Anubisu began to nip at his jaw and throat. A moan of pleasure slipped out when those small bites began to linger longer and feature fewer teeth. 

_There was a tenderness to Anubisu the other man tried desperately to hide, but no one who saw him with Tarea could deny its existence._

More soft touches rained down on his neck. Anubisu was a strong, solid presence behind him, but Seiji couldn’t relax, couldn’t just let go - he didn’t know how. He hovered on the edge of the precipice, too terrified of falling to jump. He should know by now how to respond to Anubisu’s touch but he didn’t have a clue. He should have been able to read his intentions in his posture but the unspoken language everyone else seemed to know remained opaque. 

_Very real need was burning in Seiji now, but he was locked up, frozen and lost in uncertainty._

“Turn around,” Anubisu growled in his imagination and Seiji couldn’t not do so. He felt utterly exposed by Anubisu’s fearsome gaze and started to tremble. 

_He didn’t know where he fell in grand categories mankind sorted itself into. Was he like most of his classmates and favored only women, or more like Shuu who admired everyone before him? He didn’t think he was wholly uninclined towards such intimate relations like Shin, but what if he was wrong? What if he simply didn’t realize what he felt at times paled so wildly in comparison to what others felt? He’d never gotten a chance to study and experiment. Everyone around him wanted to define it for him and never let him stray from that path. He’d never gotten to try before and_ **_it wasn’t fair._ **

“Nothing in life is fair,” Anubisu said, his voice steady and certain. “Everyone always seeks to use you. So _don’t let them._ Take what you want and don’t listen to anyone who tries to stop you.”

Lips descended onto his and Seiji’s heart soared. Despite knowing how clumsy he was, Seiji returned the kiss whole heartedly. He’d never felt like this before, had never found someone who was worth the risk of angering his grandfather or possibly breaking their heart. There’d never been someone he felt could survive being exposed to the rabid wolves that had been his classmates or his loving but sometimes cruelly mocking sisters.

The hands at his waist didn’t clutch at him, they rested instead on his body, holding him close but ensuring he was still free to move. Lips moved hungrily over his and-

_-he didn’t know exactly what it was like but he’d imagined it, had seen heated embraces in movies and real life-_

He and Anubisu finally parted with a gasp and the other man slumped against him. Seiji remembered the pain and guilt that had consumed him after carrying the Beacon and knew that even Anubisu’s strength wasn’t endless. 

He’d pulled Seiji out of his fear and misery. The least Seiji could do now was protect and cherish him while he sorted his own head out. 

Anubisu gave him another heated look when he finally lifted his head up. “My name is Sasaki,” he said and Seiji shivered.

“That’s a family name,” he said. “Not your given name. I know it, somehow, and whatever it is I can’t remember fills me with dread.”

“Dark memories from ancient times,” Sasaki replied, his expression briefly grim. “I have forgiven it, why else would I permit you to be so close to me? You should forgive your clan when this memory finally takes shape.”

“And until then?” 

“Kiss me.”

Seiji did and was glad of it. 

Sasaki undied the ties of his kendogi-

_-because if Seiji was going to fantasize about being seduced, he was damned well going to be comfortable during it._

The white cloth of his sparring uniform fell to the ground as Sasaki loosened each piece one by one. It wasn’t long before he was left completely naked and bare to Sasaki’s intense gaze.

_He couldn’t pick between his elegant kimono or the simple trappings of modern life, so Seiji discarded both in his mind and focused on what lay beneath both sets of clothing. He knew what Sasaki normally kept concealed because he’d looked back at the bathhouse. He’d gotten in the water as fast as he could so he could look even if he didn’t know why he wanted to so much._

Sasaki leaned on the wall next to him, unconcerned with his own nudity. Seiji knew he was blushing while the other man looked him over, eyes lingering on places no one’s ever had, but it was also okay. Because this wasn’t the lord of Jackals who’d helped tortue Seiji years earlier, this was a man, strong in many ways but also vulnerable and frail at times. He was completely human and Seiji felt rather pathetic with how comforting he found that to be.

Seiji turned in place to face Sasaki and dared himself to step closer. He reached out, hand coming to rest on Sasaki’s hip and then it was his turn to see the other man freeze in place. 

They made for a fine pair of pathetic fools, really. One snarling and pushing people away and the other keeping himself out of reach lest a reaching hand turn out to be dangerous. It was a wonder they’d managed to do as much as they had.

It was Sasaki who finally moved, his need surging faster than Seiji’s, The wall was smooth behind him as Sasaki pinned him in place, but Seiji barely noticed after their lower bodies came together. 

_Seiji muffled a whimper on one hand and moved the other faster. He was barely holding on._

Lips descended on his again as Sasaki rutted against him. Seiji thrust his hips forward, his control hanging by a thread. Specifically, the hard, hot organ rubbing against his. Sasaki growled under his breath and began to move faster. His body was so _big_ as it leaned against Seiji’s, completely shielding him from the rest of the world.

It only took seconds for them both to start careering straight for the edge. The quick motion over his shaft made his body tingle and it was only Sasaki’s presence keeping him upright. Seiji’s hips rocked frantically forward and back as he gasped into the other man’s neck. 

“That’s it,” Sasaki breathed in his ear and Seiji whimpered. 

“You’re almost there.

“Now let go, and _show me.”_

The command didn’t even make sense but Seiji didn’t care, not when pleasure tore through his brain. Lips devoured his cries of joy and groped forward, trying to find Sasaki’s length. He was suddenly aware of the hot liquid dotting his skin and sliding down his hand and knew that- knew that-

It was over.

* * *

Seiji collapsed backwards, feeling more wrung out than he had in _years_ from private masturbation. The fantasies he’d permitted himself, the dreams he’d rarely let himself admit to, had never been so intense. But then, he’d never desired so fiercely to be seen and known by someone. 

The idea that everyone else his age so inclined already had experience with sex was utterly ridiculous and yet something about it clung stubbornly to his heart. It seemed more than reasonable to assume those who wished for such attentions had found ways to obtain it, and yet he didn’t dare, not when he was watched so closely by… _everyone._

It was ridiculous to have pretended Sa… Anubisu would ever want him that way, but he’d rather enjoyed the fantasy of being desirable enough for seduction. He didn’t think the Masho would begrudge him using him as a mental shield or of sometimes dreaming of using his darkness to disappear for a while and just… not _worry_ about everything all the time.

Seiji began to clean himself up, deploying the rag so that signs of his release clinging to his skin disappeared. He felt better, at least, he reflected as he slipped his underthings back on. His thoughts weren’t spiralling like before and the serenity that had kept slipping away before felt like it was inclined to linger. For a while, at least.

He disliked giving in to the weakness of flesh but if his meditation remained disturb going forward, masterbation seemed like an effective cure.

He’d see how tomorrow went. If he managed to look Anubisu in the eye without blushing… Then perhaps he could revisit his memory again another night.

It was intoxicating to pretend someone would ever want him just for himself.


End file.
